How dare you join the foolish, man hating, arrogant women on social media peddling and clamoring for gender equality, woman?
Who gave you the voice, aya ma ko e oooo( how dare you get so emboldened)? Oriade barked at his wife Debimpe who had retreated into a corner, shivering and cowering like a scared animal on the verge of being clubbed to death.
Emi oriade, oo gbo oruko mini? (I, Oriade, don’t you know the meaning of my name)? The head of a king woman, the head of a king!
No woman dares have a voice in my home, Never ever. In my lineage, our women are seen as our properties, treated like our slaves, no matter how learned they think they are, we condone no form of insubordination from our wives, iwo(you) want to disgrace me you want to cut off my manhood by becoming vocal and joining the useless, witchcraft movement of feminism and gender equality?
Kamari, kamagbo!(unheard of) I will destroy you and take away your children before you have that voice, I will woman! Shebi (at least)
you know me? No one dares lock horns with me and come out unscathed, I will deal with you and your lineage will not recognise you.
Debimpe winced at the mention of her children, she loves them to death, she knew what she went through to have those children, they are her life, she can’t do without them.
She was calculating and thinking how she can escape the dungeon she calls a marriage, but alas no place to go, no where to run, her mom and dad are late, her two siblings are chronic religious man and woman, her brother who is a pastor would further kill her spirit by telling her to look inwards, that there is something she must be doing to anger her husband Oriade.
She had looked inward for years in a bid to be the best wife, nothing is left of her anymore, she has been stripped of her dignity, she can’t recognise herself or the woman she had become.
Debimpe made a choice, she has two beautiful girls, as promiscuous and wicked Oriade is towards her, he loves his children damn much, they are his heart beat, that’s why Tomi and Siju don’t understand the sad look in her eyes and the tears she sometimes shed, daddy is a loving,good man, he makes us happy, therefore he makes mommy happy too. How pure the mind of children are, Debimpe mused, they are indeed the light to all the darkness in her life.
She made a decision, she would stay with her husband and do whatever he wants at every point in time, she can’t afford to deny her kids the love and care of their father, they would not forgive her and neither might they understand till its probably too late.
Debimpe went on a search of various forms of coping mechanisms for her to endure the marriage and her husband’s constant emotional abuse, at least till her children become independent and she can be free, she only prays and hope it won’t be too late for her.
Eighteen years later, Tomi, Debimpe and Oriade’s first daughter was getting married, on the beautiful day at the engagement ceremony, Oriade was given the microphone to pray and drop his word of advice for the new couple.
Oriade goes thus, Adeakin, that is the name of Tomi’s husband, welcome to our family, you have become my son from today, but I want to give you two caveat,
Firstly, I implore you to treat my daughter like a queen, she is not your slave, she is your partner, your equal partner in this marriage, so please accord her the respect she does to you.
Secondly, she has huge dreams, as you can see she is one of the frontiers of feminism in our country, she has dined with various prominent people all over the world in her fight for feminism and gender equality, do not stop her or abuse her emotionally in order to cut short her dreams, if you do, she knows already she is always welcome back home. I do not joke with my girls, I can kill for their sake.
Debimpe was taken aback by Oriade’s utterances in such a gathering, he didn’t discuss this with her, what a very very selfish man! she quickly readjusted herself and smiled all through.
Adeakin the bridegroom smiled all through the talk, albeit that his heart was laced with bitterness and anger, he loves Tomi very dearly, but how dare her father spew all this thrash to him today of all days in the presence of family, friends and foes, now he sees where Tomi got her headiness and strong will from, its definitely from her father, he decided he can’t be cowered by the man, he would damn run his home like he pleases, to hell with Tomi’s father.
Adeakin is a good man, and his love for Tomi is immeasurable but he detests being controlled or threatened, it opens up this dark side in him that gets so scary to watch.
Few months after the wedding , the couple had a big fight, and quickly, Tomi picked up the phone and reported to her dad, the dad screamed and said over his dead body, tell Adeakin to come and see me immediately.
Adeakin refused to go for three days, and Oriade not being able to take it anymore dragged Debimpe alongside and stormed down Adeakin and Tomi’s house.
Adeakin how dare you bit the tail of a tiger? You dare treat my daughter, my princess like thrash, who the hell do you think you are?
Adeakin barked back, your daughter is very rude and arrogant, she has no iota of respect for me, she talks to me anyhow anywhere, and I have had enough! Emi Adeakin omo iya mi( I,the son of my mother) becoming a stooge for a woman, kamari kamagbo( unheard of).
Debimpe looked on secretly elated at the fiasco and drama, at last Oriade has met his match in his son in law she is just sad that Tomi might suffer the same fate she suffered with Oriade in Adeakin’s hand, but on the other hand Tomi is not a weak woman, she can take the best decision for herself at every situation life poses.
Debimpe ma gba mi ke( save me) Oriade screamed, imagine this scallywag Adeakin, barking at me, what insolence, how dare you? You think you own my daughter? You are a joker!
Tomi get inside and park your things, you are leaving this useless, uncouth twat!
She is going nowhere barked Debimpe, Oriade turned his owlish eyes towards her, and he was transfixed at the bold, assertive look and stance Debimpe wore, in the last eighteen years Debimpe has never used that kind of voice on him, he has been the one calling the shots and pushing her around according to his will, and she has never objected. So what happened all of a sudden?
You would seat in your husband’s house and submit to him, you heard me? You will submit to his will like I have been submitting ever since I married your father. You are not his equal, he is your Lord and master, we have given you to him, so he can do as he pleases with you, ah no mommy, interjected Adeakin, I am not her Lord and master, she is my equal and partner, I just want her to be less stubborn, he went to Tomi and hugged her, they both apologised to one another and made up giggling, while Oriade looked on dazed and fuming.
Debimpe breathed a sigh of relief, it was a huge risk she took on what she said, but she knew intuitively Adeakin though stubborn, was a different and understanding man, he wouldn’t buy her words hook line and sinker, how relieved she was when he interjected and made up with his wife there and then.
On the drive back home, Oriade spoke not a word to her, on getting home, he was already deflated, he grudgingly asked after waiting for eternity for an apology from Debimpe why she had to disgrace him like that in front of Adeakin, after all they are meant to be a team!
Something snapped in Debimpe, how dare you say team? Since I married you when have you been my team mate?
You ripped my dream of being a gender equality activist, you said I was your slave and you would not tolerate any form of insubordination, you almost made me loose my job due to your constant bullying, and you had the audacity and temerity to expect our daughters not to be treated like slaves, when you have treated me like a slave for years, eyin okunrin ma nika ooo(you men are so wicked) if not for my motherly instinct, I would have wished Tomi suffers one quarter of what I suffered in your hands, so that you can suffer the pain and agony of watching your own blood being maltreated maritally, but ikunle abiyamo onije ki n ro iru e si omo mi( the pain of labour forbids I wish such on my child)
Oriade looked on defeatedly, and it dawned on him how wicked he had been to his wife for years, what agony he had put her through, and he was broken, but the bully in him would not let him be, he made a last attempt to bully her, but eyin obinrin ma buru oo, (you women are wicked) so you had all these anger in your mind towards me and you never for one day voiced out? You could have poisoned me, ori ma yomi oooo, a shee ota mini moun ba gbele (thanks to my head so I have been living with my enemy) Debimpe snapped back, I thought of poisoning you, but I don’t have the killer instinct, I was even praying you die at a time so I can be free from your controlling shackles, but God helped me to change my prayer point.
Oriade was shocked and sad, he saw a picture of his mean self, he moved to hug Debimpe but she stayed aloof and insisted he prostrates and remains there while she makes her demand which must all be met, kai obinrin yiishaa fe temi( this woman wants to disgrace me )Oriade thought, anyway it’s just the both of us, let me humble myself, can’t afford to loose her in this my old age, I love her and I need her.
Debimpe demanded that he must bear all the cost of her NGO on gender equality, and he must join her in the campaign, Oriade agreed immediately and even pledged to help speak to his influential friends on how they can also lend their voice in other to protect their daughters careers and future.
According to Oriade, its not too late to join a noble cause.
Let us think about the future of our daughters before we go on a war path against gender equality.
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