Let me tell you something about dreams, aspirations and support.

You see, you need to understand that your dream is conceived, nurtured, and the drive to establish it is on you and you alone. The moment you begin to plan around and depend on people on a dream you are nurturing, and that they will help you propagate or establish it then you are putting yourself in jeopardy. You need to understand that no one owes you anything, be it to help you realise or achieve your dreams. The moment they don’t support your aspirations then you have no right to begrudge them.

I understand that as humans, we tend to rely on people a lot, we most times have this entitlement mentality, and most times we would have even calculated at the back end of our minds how this and this person would be a huge pillar of support, then when we realise that they are not even acting as if they saw us trying to establish our dreams then we get hurt, depressed and sometimes angry. It is normal to feel that way at times, but you need to snap out of it real quick and get over that feeling lest your dreams and aspirations begin to sink.

When I just started blogging, I  was so uncomfortable at putting my introverted self out there but I was so excited that at last I would be able channel my passion for writing into affecting lives positively.

I had concluded in my mind how much people would support me. I started and just few people whom I will never forget their solidarity stood constantly by me. There were some people I had banked on because of my consistent support for them in whatever they do, who never even looked at my side or acted as if they saw that I had started something new. I mean my rationalizing heart excused them initially and concluded that maybe they didn’t see, but they never acknowledged what I was doing nor utter a word of support or encouragement, rather some of these people would do a counter post or article on what I had written,  I was a bit disappointed and I wondered why they were acting that way, but I called myself to order, talked to myself to stop feeling entitled to their solidarity and support, they owe me NOTHING, so I stopped looking at their sides and withdrew myself from all sorts of negativity. And one beautiful thing I learnt and still learning is that you make lots of progress when you distance yourself from all sorts of negativity that could affect your psyche.

I discovered that no matter how supportive you are of some people, be it by your encouragement and constant solidarity when they began a new project, doesn’t mean they will show you the same solidarity when it’s your turn. Some people  love to be the only ones doing something worthwhile, while others close to them and around them are lost and without a sense of direction.  It gives them this feeling of grandiose delusion. Once you aspire from being their fans and supporter to becoming a person of your own who also has a similar vision,or once they notice you also have a similar vision to theirs, or even have a vision at all and are very passionate about it,  they get threatened and resentful, and no matter how all the world cheers you on and supports you, they will never ever acknowledge you even if your work is staring them right in the face.

You need to also understand that it’s very beautiful to support those who support you, so far your dreams align, even if it does not, so far their dreams are not evil or against your believes, it’s OK to support them. That is the beautiful thing to do, and this is like a balm to the heart of the recipient of your support.

It’s also very OK not to support those who do not support you. Some people might term this as arrogance, but I see it as self preservation. Why do you have to keep showing support for someone who does not support nor acknowledge you or your aspirations? Why do you want to continuously torture yourself just to prove you are the bigger person while you hurt real bad?  Unless you have gotten to a point where you are dead to negative feelings, a point where things don’t bother you anymore, not even a slightest bit, then it’s fine if you keep supporting those who do not support you. But if you are a sensitive being and you pick up vibes, most especially the ones directed at you easily then you need to stop supporting those who do not support you. This does not mean you have to begrudge them, on the other hand, this helps you not to begrudge them, and it distances you from every form of negative feelings towards them and also makes you focused on your dreams and aspirations without distractions.

You also need to understand that it’s fine to support those who do not support you. Sometimes you get blown away by their knowledge, or by what they are doing, and you just can’t help but acknowledge them, go ahead and acknowledge them, it’s a sign of maturity on your side, and it means gradually you are overcoming any form of negativity or distractions people might exhibit in other to hurt you.

Finally understand that for you to get to where you desire in life,for your dreams to become a reality, you have to constantly and consciously distance yourself from every form of negativity at all times. You have to do away from anything that could create bitterness in your heart and stall your dreams. You have to understand that the world is big, so big and it does not revolve around you, you are just a tiny little bit in it, so you might not even be heard or seen for a long while,  but you have to keep striving to carve your own nitch.  Only then would no one put you aside, write you off nor overlook you. This usually does not happen over night, most times it takes a very long time, but I assure you that with your consistence and hard work, your dreams will come to fruition and to your amazement you will get there.quotescover-jpg-25

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