I have read from some fantastic and  awesome men about indecent dressing, and how it is not the cause of rape. These set of superb men are part of my Facebook friends and I so much appreciate their stand and consistency on the fact that indecent dressing is not the reason for rape. They have been writing against this believe for some days now, and I so much appreciate them and their astuteness.

One brother even wrote that indecent dressing and rape should not be discussed in the same context and I could not agree less.

While these men are of this opinion, some women do not agree, and they are of the believe that indecent dressing is the reason for rape.

I began to wonder at these kind of women and why they are thinking this way, or what they are getting at. One of such women even said indecent dressing cannot get you a good husband, and I am wondering how indecent dressing links to “husband matter”.

A woman’s entirety is about husband. “Una do well, make una kontinu”

Well I understand that such women feel it is the indecently dressed women that are “snatching” their husbands. The indecently dressed women, according to this women are the side chicks, hence part of the reason why they keep insisting that indecent dressing causes rape in order to scare other women from dressing “indecently”

See let me tell you the truth dear woman, the side chicks are often times the well dressed women. They are usually well covered and often times leaves nothing to your imagination. Their dressing exudes power and these women understands clothing and apparel, most especially in the work place and how much power their clothing must  exude in order to be respected at the work place. They understand that being indecently dressed will not give them that respect, so they dress in a powerful and decent manner.

I know a side chick years ago who was working in a corporate organization. She does not even use earrings. She was such a beautiful woman and dresses so good, so neat and so corporate. Her suits were usually on point, below the knee, and she leaves nothing to your imagination asides her fresh face. She doesn’t even allow any form of cleavage to show in her jackets as some women working in the corporate environment were found of.

This lady was a stand by side chick to a top politician. The man travels down to see her virtually every week and spoils her silly. She did not remain a side chick for long, she also graduated to the position of a second wife and had children for the man. She does not look like a woman who could ever be a side chick not to talk of a second wife. This is to tell you that appearance is inconsequential when it comes to what goes in the mind of a human being.

The indecently dressed women are not your problem dear woman. They are not the reason your husband is committing adultery. You need to stop harassing women and controlling what they wear because of insecurity and fear on your part. After all we have heard on Facebook how a woman sent a lady an inbox message telling her to stop posting her picture on Facebook. That her husband is the lady’s friend and that she does not want her husband to keep seeing the lady’s picture always. Apparently the lady is a beautiful lady and ,madam wifey felt threatened.

Dear wifey, honestly I do not like to be harsh when it comes to relating with my fellow women. We women carry a lot of burden and lashing out at one another in the name of advise is usually not always the right way. But let me tell you the truth and a secret. Do you know that insecurity stinks? It stinks to anyone who sees it in us, not to talk of your husband. Once you allow a man know that you are insecure and your self worth is low or zero, then you are done for. He just might take advantage of this, prey on it and continue to hurt and belittle you. You have to stop being insecure and policing your husband all about dear woman. It is not good for you, it is not good for your health and the overall well being of your marriage. Learn how to value your self, learn how to be confident, learn how to stop being afraid that your man would cheat.

Understand the word choice dear woman, accept it and come to the conclusion that every human has the power of choice to do good and evil. So if your man decides to cheat on you, it is his choice and his sole decision. No matter how much you guard him once he chooses to cheat you cannot stop him.

As for the people that loves to control how other human does their things, you need to understand that you can only control your children. And once they are adults that power also ceases. You have no right to control how anyone dresses, so if you chant from now till tomorrow, it does not change a thing. Invest that energy on training your children or children to come, how to dress decently. Other people, or other people’s children do not owe you the duty of care to dress decently. Often times, after life has happened, people’s eyes suddenly opens and things become clearer and takes a better perspective. Until then, you can only suggest in love and not suggest in scorn how other people should behave or act.

 

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