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MOTIVE

Motive can be simply defined as something that causes a person to act in a certain way, or do a certain thing.  It is the reason behind many actions and reactions. As humans we need to be very watchful and vigilant in other to identify the motive behind some actions or gestures being directed and extended to us.

I am not saying be paranoid, but the bible says be as gentle as a dove and be as wise as a serpent. The need for watchful wisdom cannot be over emphasized in our day to day activities and relationship with humans, you can’t afford to continuously get riddled with emotions without an atom of objectivity.

A  friend runs to tell you your husband is cheating,

NOTE: I do not support or condone cheating in a marriage, the aftermath effect is dangerous to health and life.

Yes, this friend runs to tell you your husband is a cheat blatantly and she has just caught him with his mistress, and she tells you this backed with evidence gleefully with an all knowing look, telling you in that moment of painful revelation that these men are dogs, none can be trusted, “didn’t I tell you a man cannot be trusted, your husband inclusive, but you kept on saying your husband is not a cheat and you kept on defending and vouching for him”, and you being hurt, ran and acted on impulse without pausing to think twice and weigh what she has said to you deeply before acting, you went ahead and threw the baby away with the bath water while your friend becomes fulfilled and happy because she finally succeeded in separating you and your purported happy and faithful husband which you have been singing to her ears all this while, and will not let her rest.

Don’t get me wrong, some friends are priceless, they mean well for you, they have your back when the chips are down, and they would do anything to make you feel better, but you know the difference between this kind of friends and the one that blatantly relayed the painful message  of your husband’s affair to you above? This is the difference, a true friend would not slam you with that kind of news without any form of inhibition, they will not tell you after all you said your husband was not a cheat, a true friend will not tell you but I told you not to trust your husband, they will not mock you albeit subtly in your lowest moment because they feel your pain like it’s actually theirs, they will find a way to tell you in a way that it will not hit you like a shock wave, in fact some will dance round it for long looking for the best way to say it so you don’t sink into depression.

Sisters beware of friends who are gleeful bad news bearers, “they never mean you well, not ever”  that is why you have to be watchful , vigilant and objective in other to handle your issues and make the best decisions for your life at every point in time.

I see some women get angry because they told their friends of their husbands cheating ways and the woman still stayed put in the marriage. Excuse me why are you angry?  Your motive was bad then, if you had a good motive, you won’t get angry she didn’t react like you wanted, if you had a good motive you wouldn’t start bad mouthing her all over the place on how she’s “Ruth abokoku and agboko lori pantete” (husband wrapper and foolish romantic simpleton)

Providence allowed you become privy to such a clandestine affair by her husband, wisdom requires you alert her subtly so she doesn’t sleep with fire on her roof, so she becomes alert to protect herself, so she calls her husband to order so they can walk through that phase together if they are both willing, not urging her to react in a certain way according to your own script, people have a way of sorting their own issues, it doesn’t have to always be in our own way, you have done your part by telling to be wise and beware, kudos, now keep it moving without any form of expectation, she doesn’t owe you any allegiance as regards the decision she takes, so far she is fine and not dying, please mind your own life.

Ok I will stop here, I said I am on blogging holiday, but my sister friend Tokunbo Aina  Osasona will not let me rest, she said I must keep blogging every week, that she awaits my write up weekly, what is a small geh like me writing ke? Lol, I still don’t guarantee my weekly blogging for now,  I have a huge task ahead, when I complete it, then I can blog every day sef without distractions, thanks sis for your constant encouragement and support.

Have a nice week friends and stay blessed.

Image credit: emailanswers.com

 

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