Today’s woman should not be afraid to launch out and show the world that entirely she’s got. She is a strong woman who has basic and fundamental understanding of all that God has deposited in her. She is bold and self-assured, pushing through odds to achieve great things. A today’s woman is a confident woman. She is not afraid to make mistakes, yet she goes a step further to use her own mess as a message for others. She is that woman who doesn’t put others down with those who seem different to her; rather she understands that everyone has her own place and space. She has a sexual lure about her, doesn’t mean she is promiscuous; she is poised, assertive and classy.
Today’s woman is not threatened by the male gender. She understands that she’s equal to him though different in physical qualities and roles. A today’s woman has been distinctly able to differentiate between religious unbalanced messages and societal and cultural norms, thus not been boxed and manipulated into demeaning messages that curb her into been a blessing to her and the world at large.
A today’s woman should not be subjected to the background. A woman has the qualities to make changes in the environment where she finds herself. A woman prides herself to be intuitive and discerning, hence she can be able to put measures in place to curtail impending dangers. If a woman is allowed the rightful place in the society, given the opportunity to work effectively and explore all the qualities within her, she has great potentials of been the best thing the world has ever experienced.
Today’s woman is constantly growing, relentlessly thriving to be better than she was yesterday. She is constantly on her toes contributing her own quota to humanity, knowing it’s her time and place to stand up and do that she has been called to do. Today’s woman is the best thing the world has ever seen happen, if given the chance and the environment to be all that she has been called to be.
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT TODAY’S WOMAN
There have been several misconceptions and religious views about the role of women, among which are disagreeing and competing with other groups and denominations in the human race. Each section of the human race, we are faced with its own doctrinal belief and focus of how today’s woman should be shoved to the background and not allowed a word to speak, let alone be who she has been created to be. These beliefs are extreme; right-wing approach to women, twisting the Bible, the Christian’s Holy Book, to mean that a woman should walk ten paces behind her husband, should never talk unless spoken to and also be quiet even in the face of provocation. It has become generally misunderstood for what it now defined feminism by men and women alike.
The feminist woman has been seen and perceived to be a block in the pathway of progress of most people especially the male gender, been misunderstood to be bossy, temperamental and saucy. She is termed a bitch because she understands her purpose, has a career and continuously contributes her own quota to the world at large. On the other hand, some accept that a today’s woman is purpose driven woman who chooses to acts in modern ways and has chosen not to be enslaved by culture and tradition. The today’s woman have been reduced outrightly to one who cannot think for herself, a woman who should have no voice and only be given decisions without questioning such, like new born chicks, need everything chewed for her by a husband or father or any male figure, before she can digest it.
In the same vein, the today’s woman has been told it is a mistake to be a woman. In workplaces, she has been told that the male gender is the better gender and told of how a woman is not supposed to given technical assignments and or put on salary increase. With political offices, she is told of how a woman should not be given political roles and entrusted with higher responsibilities. In entertainment, jokes of all kinds have been told throughout the world in an attempt to diminish, disregard and make fun of the female gender. Pop, culture, including television sitcoms, movies and advertisements have made tremendous attempt at viewing women as sex slaves and so it doesn’t matter what a woman achieves, she is only as good as her vagina. In modern day, a woman has been told that it doesn’t matter what she has accomplished or attained, she is as useless as dirt if she is not married.
The contemporary world has also made ‘fantastic’ effort in playing out the woman as the only home builder and it didn’t matter the effort of the man as long as he is got a praying wife. Thus, women have been subjected to the only change agents in their homes, frantically praying for a cheating hubby, a promiscuous man and a man who’s not ready to be responsible in his home and to humanity. Society has misunderstood a woman’s role in the society and her home.
Culture has not helped either as it has completely caged and gripped women in abusive marriages in the bid to keep their homes. Traditions have taught women to think that Marriage is all that she is born to do. Consequently, a woman is made to sacrifice her life, her person, her dreams, her vision and her career at the ‘honorable’ altar of Marriage. Today’s woman has been misunderstood to be rude and curtly when she is strongly opinionated and wouldn’t allow herself to be trampled upon either by religious unbalanced messages or from societal and cultural norms. She is been told to fill her mouth with water and keep it there whenever she has a contrary opinion. That way, she is been believed to be quiet and virtuous. What it does, however, is to create a docile woman who has no voice of her own and who has erected strong walls of fears and depression that are extremely difficult to demolish.
I cannot but mention the misconceptions of today’s woman without pointing out the misunderstanding of the word “submission”. She is been told to only cater for the needs of her immediate family and sometimes extended and kill her dreams if she does have one. She is been told that her only primary role on earth is to bear children and breastfeed her husband, a full grown ass man.
She is been told to submit to a man’s instruction regardless of whether she objects to it or not. She is been told to keep her voice and not give opinions. Whilst growing up, she is been trained to be the wife of the home and given all of life’s tutorials on how to be the best wife to a man, who on the other hand is never taught how to be a good man nor educated how be a leader in the truest sense of the word.
Need I mention that culture doesn’t teach woman investment techniques or financial literacy? After all, it is believed that her savings is only supposed to take care of her family and she is only required to save ‘just in case’ she has to take care of her kids and herself, thus many women have no financial vision or plan for their life, only thriving to live at status quo.
HOW CAN A TODAY’S WOMAN BUILD HER HOME?
I do believe the possibility on a today’s woman building a good home starts with choosing a man who supports her dream and one who helps her to achieve more. It is important that a woman pays close attention to male friends who declare boldly that their wives would never earn more than them or who think that a woman’s career should only end in the kitchen. Such jokes or statements should not to be taken with a pinch of salt. While been friends, it is paramount women distinguish between men who are threatened by her career space and those who encourage her. It is important to note that regardless of the feelings a woman has for a man, if she eventually gets hooked to one who is threatened by a woman’s career, chances of her career success are extremely slim.
Secondly, a woman needs to pay attention to her man’s domestic needs and strive to meet them. Such includes cooking, sex, quality time, gifts, acts of service and every love language her man considers important. Although, I am not an advocate of a woman been the sole burden bearer and singular home keeper of her Marriage, however, there is still need for both parties, to strive to create a balance in attending to each other’s domestic needs.
Three, for a today’s woman to succeed in her home, it is important she is married to somebody who also has a career. Now, I am not talking about a man who has a job, but one who has a focused career path envisioned for his own life, a man who can stand independently with his own well defined purpose. Anyone can lose jobs, but a man with a career path knows what next to do when a job closes out on him. With this in place, they both would be able to contribute and bring something tangible to the table. Otherwise, no matter how much a woman endeavors to balance the home front, she will be become overwhelmed and eventually frustrated. Equally, the man feels threatened because he can nolonger be the man that provides for his house, thus frustrating her efforts too.
That is why there is so much emphasis on Single ladies and whom they choose to get married to. Regardless of the pressures that abound greatly, singles should not allow themselves to be boxed into making wrong choices.
About the Author:
Omobolanle Adeyemo popularly called Omoby by friends and family is a professional Construction Manager and Quantity Surveyor who holds a Masters Degree in Construction Management from Sheffield Hallam University, United Kingdom, having undertaken her Bachelor’s Degree from the Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria, in Quantity Surveying. Omobolanle started her working career with a Lagos-based Quantity Surveying firm and continued with other Prestigious Construction/ Quantity Surveying Firms where she has gained practical experience in Building Construction, Mechanical and Building Services, Civil and Heavy Engineering Projects. Omobolanle is a Probationer member of the Nigerian Institute of Quantity Surveyors (NIQS), a Probationer member of the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors (RICS) and an Incorporate Member of the Chartered Institute of Building (CIOB), both in the United Kingdom. She is presently a Doctorate Student in one of the prestigious Universities in South Africa.
Omoby is a bold young lady that constantly thrives to be the best in all she does and proudly wears the Today’s Woman’s badge. She aspires to be all that she has been created to do regardless societal and cultural limitations every woman faces. She is constantly working on herself to acquire business and industrial skills that would earn her top notch positions in the world’s revolving economy. Omoby has passionate interest in building construction and engineering projects and a parallel passion for counseling and teaching young minds in areas of relationship, career and purpose. Her message boils down on teaching young ladies to maximize their single life whilst waiting for their knight in shining armor. She teaches that Marriage is not all a woman is made to achieve. Omoby is a prolific writer having written several articles in blogs. Omoby is a lover of books and has successfully built her personal library to the number of over a thousand books. She is working on building a library where young minds can be cultured on reading. You can connect with her via her name on facebook, and via her facebook page Omoby.