I was discussing with big mommy two one day, and we talked about people with a competitive nature. She told me, Jumoke, competition is good, but unhealthy competition is dangerous. Then she went ahead to define unhealthy competition, and I am like waow, this is absolutely true!
Life is a level playing ground, how do we become successful if we don’t begin a project with an intention of succeeding at it, with the aim of aspiring and becoming successful where others have obviously given up or failed, with a believe that our case will be different, with a believe to get better each time and day, to improve our skills and deliver our work in different ways with lots of spices and improvement. Now that is competition, because the world is a level playing field and anyone can decide to play any ball, without you having the right of anger, the right of “na only us get this area” ( this field belongs to only us, how dare this person hop in).
I see some people go ballistic because someone else decided to do what they are doing, and they go on and on, about this person being jealous and envious of them all this while. Ehn, ehn, so this person liked what I was doing, not minding the fact that the person has appreciated their work often, not minding the fact that the person even went ahead to inform them of the plans to also begin same venture, they just hold on to this bile internally and eternally, with an intention to use their evil mind to destroy their perceived opponents new venture, and sometimes it works if one is not prayerful and watchful, the mind is a very powerful “arrow dispenser”. Oga or Aunty, please take life easy, no one has a monopoly of ideas, it is narcissistic to think you are the only one entitled to a venture or an idea, work hard at yours with an intention to stay unique and allow every new player a breathe of fresh air, you can even go ahead to encourage and give positive tips if they ask for your opinion and advise. Life is easy, live and let live please.
This is also very common in work places. A new employee gets into the office, and some people decide to start puffing and swelling up around the whole place, with an aim to intimidate the new comer. Please what is the aim of this? Is the new employee going to seat on your head, or take away your job? Why are you all jittery at the intake of a new employee? “Ogbeni, einty, e jowo e gbaju mo ise yin” (please face your work Mr and Miss) let the new comer feel welcomed with a breathe of fresh air, they are weary and worried already at being in a new working environment, it would be very nice of you to make them feel at home and relaxed, it’s not going to cost you anything, you don’t have to make friends with them, just be nice, and trust me, they would never forget.
Another set of people are the ones who have seen a particular person succeed at a field, and they get so green with envy that they keep looking for an avenue to enter into that same field and outshine this person. That is just their outright intention and aim of getting into that field. They are like ehn ehn, how can this person be this successful? What is this person doing that I can’t do? I want to be like this, I want to steal their show, I want to outsmart and outshine them, their major driving force is to outshine their subject of competition.
They can’t stand the fact that this person is being loved by all and sundry, they can’t stand the fact that this person has lots of faithful followers, they can’t stand the fact that whatever this person does, people are quick to flock around them like bees to a honey. They are so filled with bile and the only way to get back at this person is to find a way to outshine them at that same field.
Haba kilode? (what is the matter) please don’t kill yourself over someone who doesn’t even know you exist, don’t ensnare yourself in the bondage of ill health due to jealousy and envy, it’s not a worthy venture. You are going to get exhausted and burn out quickly if your only aim is to be better than someone. Carve your niche please, this brain that God has given us, is beautiful, it can create something new and unique in a twinkling of an eye, but if you keep dwelling in negativity, you would always be beclouded, and whilst you spew out knowledge and great ideas, it might not have the desired effect because you carry a negative energy that people can actually feel.
Instead of dwelling in envy and getting beclouded with jealousy, open your mind and learn from the same person, you can take it a step further by declaring your admiration for them, and how you would love to learn from them, if the person is not proud, trust me they would be so eager to put you through and pilot you, and if you are weary of exposing yourself that way, then learn from them from afar and improve yourself, you can’t continue to do the same thing same way and expect a different result. Be open to new ideas, be open to new suggestions, make yourself available for healthy corrections and tips, rather than stay aloof and bitter. Bitter people wear out easily, “epp yourself please, abi who bitterness don epp”? (help yourself please, bitterness has not helped anyone).
Lastly as parents, let us endeavor to encourage our children to be confident in their own skin, rather than push them to be like someone else, or to be better than someone else. Let us make them understand that life is not all about winning, you win some and you loose some graciously. Please don’t compare them amongst themselves, or with anyone else. Rather, encourage them, and dwell more on their strengths rather than weaknesses. Let us build a better generation, where team work is so much appreciated and interesting, not a generation where everyone wants to be better, outshine and outsmart the others.
I could go on and on, but I would stop here, we can rub minds together in the comment section.
Have a beautiful week ahead after the holidays, stay blessed.
Image Credit: Notablequotes.com, coolnsmart.com and mr-attitude.com respectively.